SWEPT ASIDE
by parisindy
Summary: Something has finally caused Harper to lose control... what caused it and can he be saved? **COMPLETE**
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: Swept Aside  
  
AUTHOR: parisindy  
  
RATING: don't know yet. R to be safe  
  
DISCLAIMER: No money was received or exchanged. I do not own Andromeda or any of its Characters. This is purely for fun.  
  
ARCHIVE: Lauriena can archive it anyone else has to ask.  
  
Author's Note: This is in response to a challenge posted on www.exisle.net by nureek.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++  
  
"History is a relentless master. It has no present, only the past rushing into the future. To try to hold fast is to be swept aside." - John Fitzgerald Kennedy  
  
Swept Aside  
  
He sat in the small white room. He rocked back and fourth crouched down on his bare feet. His arms looped around his knees. There was a small bed in the corner. A white desk and chair sat on the adjacent wall. There was nothing to write on so it seemed a slightly odd decor choice. Yet nothing was truly sane about the whole situation.  
  
The heavy door opened slowly and the slim blonde women walked in. She stopped and studied the boy for a moment before crouching down before him. She nearly copied his rocking. She was nearly as sick as he was. only with worry.  
  
"Seamus.. Harper? Are you going to talk to me today."  
  
He looked at her with unrecognizing eyes. "They took my shoes."  
  
"I know' she whispered. Harper had always been very protective about his shoes. He had lived too many years with out them. He had had shoes when she first met him but she had bought him his first completely new pair. He polished those black boots so much . until he finally wore out the toes. She sighed and leaned forward. Desperate to hold on to any part of her old Harper she let her fingers lightly brushed his pale cheek. He flinched. Not much but she saw it. A sadness filled her stomach that almost made her ill.  
  
"They took my shoes." He repeated.  
  
"I know' she whispered.  
  
He continued to rock and she continued to watch.  
  
She tried once more. "They are sending some one to talk to you Harper. Would you like to talk to someone else?"  
  
He didn't reply.  
  
"They say you have post traumatic stress syndrome. I know what you saw.the woman.it must have triggered something" Tears filled her eyes at her lack of response. She missed his jokes .his nervous jests. his constant fidgeting. His trusting eyes. "The others are here to. We are all worried. I wish you would just talk to me. Then we could leave and everything would be normal again.  
  
Again they sat. His eyes cast downwards.  
  
"They took my shoes."  
  
"I know' she whispered.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
She walked towards the waiting room. Trance and Rommie were waiting for her there. As she walked towards them the stood to greet her.  
  
"How is he today?"  
  
"The same Trance. The doctor said they were bringing in a specialist to see him."  
  
Rommie gripped Beka's shoulder. It was a gesture meant to comfort but Beka new that she was also checking up on her. When Harper had gotten.sick. She had become frantic with worry. They had been just as worried about her as they had been for their engineer. She gave a tired smile. "I'm Okay Rommie really."  
  
Rommie made a noise of disbelief.  
  
"When is this doctor coming?" queried Trance.  
  
Tonight on a transport from Sinti."  
  
"Is he."  
  
"No Rommie he's not a Persied he's a human." Harper had reacted violently to the last non-human that tried to talk to him. It was a big reason Rommie and Trance hadn't gone to see him themselves.  
  
Trance took her arm gently. "Let's get back to the Andromeda. Harper needs his rest and so do we."  
  
Beka gave a small nod and let her self be steered away. She was utterly spent. "We'll come back in the morning." She told her self as much as she told them. "Maybe he will be better then."  
  
Trance and Rommie exchanged worried glances but said nothing.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Dr. Lemieux watched through the small window before entering. The young man was curled up in the corner asleep. The bed had not been slept in. He knocked lightly. The boy's eyes shot open. He was alert and wary in seconds. Someone that ready for attack could not have been getting a restful sleep.  
  
Dr. Lemieux entered the room. "Good morning Mr. Harper. I'm doctor Lemieux" The young man just watched him but gave no reply. "I was talking to your friends. They said it would be okay if I came in and talked to you. They are really worried about you."  
  
Still no reaction, no recognition he understood him.  
  
"They took my shoes."  
  
"Yes, I know." Captain Valentine had warned him about this. If he spoke at all it was about his shoes. "Who took your shoes?"  
  
"They! They!" he suddenly looked panicky and backed right in to the corner of the room.  
  
"It's okay if you can't remember. Is that's what's wrong you can't remember?" There was a good chance he was having trouble discerning the present from the past. He probably remembered the orderlies taking his shoes and someone in the past taking his shoes and he wasn't sure which one was real.  
  
Harper shook his head negatively.  
  
"Do you know where you are?" No answer, Harper was crouched down again on his bare feet. His arms looped around his knees. He began rocking back and fourth. But, ever so often he would raise a wary eye up towards the doctor. Dr. Lemieux realized he was being ignored and smiled to himself. He had work to do but he believed he could help him.  
  
It was enough for today. "We'll talk more this afternoon okay Seamus?" Without waiting for a reply he walked out in to the hall.  
  
Mr. Harper's five shipmates promptly met him.  
  
"How is he? Can you help him?" asked the blonde Captain anxiously.  
  
"I think I can. It's far to early to give a diagnosis."  
  
"Is there a time frame on his recovery?" Asked Captain Hunt  
  
"No not really, we need to find out what he is hiding from. I have a pretty good idea from what you told me in our conversations earlier."  
  
"The attack on the planet." Confirmed the android.  
  
"Yes, but not just that there is something more. Maybe something you didn't see. Until he is able to confront that..."  
  
"Hey was alone for about twenty minutes." Confirmed the golden woman named Trance. "We got separated when we were looking for survivors. But, I found him."  
  
"Was he acting an differently when you found him?"  
  
Trance thought it over. "I didn't think about it at the time but maybe a little. He was talking fast.well faster then normal. He said he really needed a Sparkie and he needed to get back to the Maru right away."  
  
"And it was when he got back to the ship.specifically when he saw Captain Hunt that he became like he is now?"  
  
"It wasn't that sudden." Disagreed the Neitzschean Tyr. "He started acting strangely when he saw Dylan. But when we return to orbit and Andromeda he seems to start to panic."  
  
"Did there seem to be any reason for this?"  
  
"None that I am aware of."  
  
"Well I'll meet with him again this afternoon.I'll keep you informed." +++++++++++++++++++  
  
Dr. Lemieux watched through the small window before entering. Seamus was in nearly the same position as when he left earlier that morning. A tray of food sat on the desk untouched. The nurses were worried he hadn't eaten in days.  
  
He knocked lightly and as before Seamus sprung to his feet ready for anything.  
  
"Hello Seamus. How are you feeling this afternoon?"  
  
No reply, just wary eyes watching his every move.  
  
"I have something for you." From behind his back he pulled out Harper's boots and set them in the center of the room.  
  
"They took them."  
  
"Yes, they did but you can have them back now."  
  
Harper looked at him like any minute he expected him to take the offer back. Slowly ever so slowly Seamus to a step forward. Then he took another minute step closer to him and a step closer to the boots. He needed to convince Harper he wouldn't hurt him before any progress could be made.  
  
Suddenly, like a whip his arm flicked out grabbed his boots and flicked back. He hugged the boots to his chest. Harper stood still for a moment but when the doctor didn't react he sat down and put them on. "Will they take them away again?"  
  
"I don't think so. They are yours."  
  
Seamus gave a nod of agreement.  
  
"Are you hungry?"  
  
Again he nodded.  
  
"Why won't you eat your lunch."  
  
"Poisoned."  
  
"Aaah. I see I don't blame you then I wouldn't eat it then either. Do you know who poisoned it?"  
  
No answer.  
  
Dr. Lemieux sighed and sat down at the desk and began to pick at the vegetables. Ever so often he would eat one. He did it so it seemed absent minded. He talked while he did it. If he could make Seamus see the food wasn't poisoned maybe he would eat it. "You're friends said you were alone on the planet."  
  
"My friends are dead."  
  
Lemieux smiled. He was talking, it was a good start. "All of them?"  
  
Harper nodded and just like the boots he slowly took a step closer to the food.  
  
"Seamus do you know where you are?"  
  
He froze. "Jail?"  
  
It was more of a question then an answer. "No, a Hospital. You're friends brought you here."  
  
"My friends are dead."  
  
Dr. Lemieux ate a carrot. "Not all of them, in fact there are five very alive people demanding to know every detail of your recovery."  
  
Harper suddenly looked smug. "This is a jail. I'm not sick. You're trying to trick me. My friends are dead."  
  
He's smart and stubborn observed Lemieux. "You not sick in the normal way." he was going to tell Seamus that he was having troubling remembering stuff and how He was going to help him. Harper jumped to his own conclusions.  
  
"No!" he turned pale and sweat rose on his brow instantly. "NO NOT ME!" The boy grabbed at his shirt at the waist and tried to rip it off. Frantically he screamed and then jumped at Lemieux. "You let them!!" The boy's hands clutched at the doctor's throat cutting of his air supply. "I'll kill you! I'll kill myself before I become your breeder!"  
  
Spot's started to dance before Lemieux's eyes.  
  
"I'll kill you !!" he screamed again as two orderlies rushed in. One was carrying a hypo spray. Seamus let go of the Doctor's throat and ran for the open door. Before he even got close he was tackled and held down.  
  
There was the sharp hiss of the Hypo spray as a strong sedative entered Seamus' bloodstream.  
  
Lemieux let out loud gasps as he tried to get his breath and his beating heart to relax. Then there was a noise by the doorway.almost inaudible yet he hear it over his own desperate struggles for air.  
  
Beka Valentine stood watching her best friend. She let out another small sob.  
  
The nearly unconscious boy looked up at her pleading. "Help me." He whispered as his eyes fluttered close.  
  
Beka dropped the six-pack of Sparkie Cola she had been carrying. It hit the concrete with a resounding splat. Cola sprayed wildly but she didn't notice. Her hand flew to her mouth in panic. Then the brave fighter Captain did some thing she had never done before. She turned and ran.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
TBC 


	2. Chapter 2

A snippet a snippet every where a snippet.  
  
Here's the next part.I must say wow!!! thanks really for all the kind words.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Tyr had been coming to check on Beka and Harper. He was starting to believe they would never get off this damnable planet. He had thus discussed it with Dylan but he blatantly refused to cut their losses. Sooner or later he might have to. The boy might never improve. The man should think with his head once in a while. In the very least he consider looking for a new engineer.  
  
It was then he heard footsteps and a racing heart. Beka ran blindly down the hallway. She had her eyes closed and she was crying. He had never seen her cry before.  
  
It was then she ran head long in to his arms. She sobbed heavily in to his shoulder. "What is it? Is he dead?"  
  
With his comments she beat her fists in to his chest angrily but continued to sob.  
  
For the moment he could do nothing but return her embrace. When she finally managed some semi-balance of control he pulled her away. In a soft voice he whispered to her. "Tell me what happened."  
  
"Harper." She had to swallow to keep her fragile emotions in check. "He attacked the new doctor. They . they jumped on him. I was afraid they hurt him .I-I was afraid he hurt them." a final rebellious sob escaped. "I just want him back." She shook her self free then. She wiped her arm across her eyes. "Sorry."  
  
He ignored her apology. There was no need for it. "Would you like me to check on the situation."  
  
Completely in control once more, "Yes please."  
  
"Wait here." He pointed to a near by waiting area that had cushions. "Rest, gain control."  
  
She gave a small nod and sunk down on one of the chairs.  
  
Tyr studied her for a moment. If they weren't careful they would lose their first officer to. Tyr would discuss this with Dylan. Her access to Harper should be restricted. These visits couldn't be good for either of them. The crew couldn't stand another loss.  
  
He turned towards the boy's room.  
  
All seemed calm now. The doctor sat on a bench just outside Harper's room. He had livid red welts on his neck but seemed other wise unharmed.  
  
The doctor smiled uneasily. "He's fine. It's all fine."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"The session was going fine. Then suddenly he turned violent. I think I must have said something that triggered part of what he has been repressing."  
  
Tyr leaned against the far wall and rubbed his chin in thought. "What did he say exactly?"  
  
"He yelled something about breeding and not again."  
  
"We were taken hostage once." Tyr's thoughts drifted back to the Magog world planet. "I've seen the boy stand up to men twice his size but the Magog had him frozen with fear. We were infected with Larvae. When he was a child he told me that some of his family was killed this way as well."  
  
The Doctor swore lightly. "Dear Gawd, that's horrible. The Magog must be his trigger then. How. How did you survive? I heard it's lethal."  
  
Tyr shrugged. "I am Neitzschean. He is lucky."  
  
"Captain Valentine said you were on a planet looking for refugees. That is when he started acting differently. The refugees were from a Magog attack then. Were there any Magog left on the planet? Maybe the mere sight of one put him in to this trauma."  
  
"I doubt it. We used to have one living with us in the ship. Besides there was none left on the planet."  
  
The doctor raised his eyebrow in surprise. "You have lived interesting lives. I guess rebuilding the commonwealth is not with out some hazards."  
  
"Indeed. May I see him?"  
  
"He's sleeping. The nurses took the opportunity to attach some IV packs. He was dehydrated and not eating. I see no harm in you checking in on him."  
  
The doctor let him in to Harper's room and closed the door behind him. It was just the two of them. The boy lay still on the small white cot. Tyr's eyes glanced around the room, it antiseptic and colourless. It did not suit the boy. Harper was messy and colourful. He pulled the chair from the desk over beside the bed. He had set beside Harper's sick bed before. If the boy had his senses he would not like it here he would miss his ship.  
  
"Boy." He whispered. "These people.our crew, they need you and as a result I need you. I don't like it. My survival depends on the creation of another pride. I can not have two. Yet, as of now both are reliant on each other." Tyr placed his hand on Harper's forehead. "Get better. Deal with your demons. You are a strange child but you must live. Your story will become part of a greater tale." He looked at Harper for a moment more. "You are missed by all."  
  
With that he straightened himself up and quietly left the room.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
The next morning Dr. Lemieux glanced through Seamus's window in to his room. He was surprised to see the standing in the middle of the room. He seemed alert. What was he doing? He had the desk chair standing on one leg. He seemed to be trying to balance it.  
  
He knocked lightly and entered the room. The chair crashed to the floor.  
  
"Damn." Seamus swore. "You broke my concentration. are you a doc?"  
  
Dr. Lemieux nodded. "You don't remember me? We've met before."  
  
"Sorry, I seem to have a bit of blank spot. I either got really drunk or had a wicked virus or something." He shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm surprised Trance didn't take care of me. Where am I?"  
  
Dr. Lemieux looked at the boy shocked. He had been nearly catatonic only eight hours before. Now he seamed to be on over drive.  
  
Seamus snapped his finger's. "Doc? Hello doc? You with me here? Where is everybody else?" Dr. Lemieux shook his head and focused on him. "They are here and I'm sure they will be overjoyed to see you so much better."  
  
"Great tell them to gas Rommie up I'm ready to go."  
  
"Whoa, whoa. All though you seem better I don't think you are ready to be discharged."  
  
"What you mean? Look! No broken bones, no cuts. No guts on the floor.I'm fine."  
  
"Mr. Harper this is a psychiatric facility."  
  
This time it was Seamus' turn to look shocked. "You're kidding right?"  
  
"I'm afraid not."  
  
A look of disbelief, anger and fear crossed his face in a nano second "I need to see Beka.now."  
  
TBC. 


	3. Chapter 3

well i have a little tiny piece but i'm not sure it's worth posting... this hasn't even been proof read yet  
  
++++++++++++++++++++  
  
He was starting to panic. "I need to see her now!"  
  
Dr. Lemieux raised his hands nervously. "Just stay calm. We don't want what happened yesterday to happen again."  
  
"What happened yesterday! Yesterday I was on the Andromeda!"  
  
"You've been here over a week Mr. Harper. Please stay calm. Just sit and relax and I will find Captain Valentine alright." Dr. Lemieux slowly walked out of the room backwards. He shouldn't have let what happened yesterday but for some reason the wiry youth's attack was still fresh in his mind.  
  
Lemieux walked down to the nearest nurses' station and used a communication link to contact the Andromeda.  
  
A pretty dark haired Andromeda answered, "Dr. Lemieux good morning. How can I be of service?"  
  
"I was hoping I might talk to Captain Valentine please."  
  
The cheerful face turned to a small frown. "If this is about Harper can I direct you to Captain Hunt. Captain Valentine is resting at the moment. "  
  
"Very well." He didn't want to show how anxious he was but he wish this would go faster. He started drumming his fingers lightly on the desk.  
  
"Captain Hunt here. How can I help you Doctor? Do you have an update on Harper's condition?"  
  
"Yes Captain, I have just come from meeting with him. He seems improved. He is awake and aware of his surroundings. He wasn't sure of where he was. Unfortunately, when I told him he became very agitated and demanded to speak to Captain Valentine. Would she be able to come down and see him?"  
  
A frown similar to that of Andromeda's crossed his face and he paused before answering. "Is he truly better Dr. Lemieux? Captain Valentine and Harper are very close. She has been having trouble coping with his condition? I don't want to put her through anymore dramatics."  
  
"If you mean 'do I think he's cured'? Then no I think he has quite a ways yet to go. Yet I do think seeing Captain Valentine would reassure him. Perhaps some one else from your crew that he is close to.someone he trusts can come down and talk to him. In fact I would like to monitor the meeting. Trust seems to be one of his big issues. If we could show some one he trusts is willing to work with me it might make him more willing to trust me."  
  
Dylan gave a small nod. "Harper trusts Beka more then anyone else. But, I would really like her to be removed from the situation for a while. I think I know whom I can send in her place. She'll be there in half an hour."  
  
He gave a final nod and cut the communications.  
  
+++++++++++++++  
  
Harper sat on the bed. The doctor was talking to him in a low voice. He was mostly ignoring him. His fingers drummed mindlessly on the metal bed frame. His eyes kept flicking between the clock on the wall and the door. How long ago did he call her? What was she doing he needed to get out of here?  
  
Finally there was a light knock at the door.  
  
"Beka!?" he called jumping to his feet. He Nearly bowled the doctor over in his enthusiasm.  
  
The door opened to reveal Rommie.  
  
"Rommie!" He squeaked and rushed forward to embrace her. "Ahh! Rom Doll you've never been so beautiful!"  
  
"If androids could blush."  
  
"You can! Umm. Not that I'm not grateful to see you but where's Beka?"  
  
"She couldn't come at the moment. How are you feeling?"  
  
She was trying to change the subject and he didn't like it.  
  
"Fine," he replied dismissively ". can you get me out of here?"  
  
"Harper the doctor doesn't think you're ready to leave yet."  
  
Harper's heart skipped a beat. "What do you mean.look at me I'm fine."  
  
"Then what happened since you and the crew landed on that planet?" questioned the doctor.  
  
"What planet?" he grunted angrily  
  
"Our point exactly Seamus."  
  
"My NAME IS Harper!"  
  
Rommie stepped forward. "Harper calm down.now! Everything is alright."  
  
"Rommie I don't like it here.it reminds me of some bad places I've been. I don't want to be here anymore and I want to see Beka." It came out sounding like a whine and he hated that but it was true. He was desperate.  
  
Rommie reached forward and pulled him in to a hug. He was surprised.neither of them were the hugging type. "Harper. She's okay really. She's just resting. She has had a hard couple of days. She will come an see you soon." She took a step back breaking the hug. "Dylan wants you to stay here till the doctor says your better. Work with him it won't be so bad you'll see."  
  
"Sounds like a blind date.'she's not that ugly you'll see'.I've learnt it's always better to get out while you can."  
  
Rommie smiled. "You are feeling better."  
  
The doctor stepped forward. "If all goes good over the next few days we'll see about letting you get back to your ship."  
  
He didn't want to be alone here the whole place gave him the willies. He rubbed his arms to keep the goosebumps away. Plaintively he looked towards Rommie. "Will you come visit me?"  
  
"Just try and keep us away."  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Dr. Lemieux and Harper sat in the white room quietly together.  
  
Time passed and finally he could take it no longer. He jumped to his feet and screamed. "Gaaaah!" The doctor visibly jumped. There was a small satisfaction in that.  
  
Once the doctor gained control he studied Harper. "Was there any reason for that?"  
  
"Oh come on. It's quieter then a tomb in here. Do we have to stay here?"  
  
"Where do you want to go?"  
  
Harper started to pace with nervous energy. "Home."  
  
"Earth"  
  
"Gawd no!.The Andromeda.the Maru.Beka. Home. Why the hell would I want to go back to earth?"  
  
The doctor shrugged. "I just wondered if you missed it. Do you have any family still there?"  
  
"Brendan.my cousin. At least I think he's still there. Who knows."  
  
"Are you worried about him?"  
  
"Of course.Listen Doc this is stupid. It's not going to work."  
  
"What's not going to work?"  
  
Harper threw his hands in to the air. "I'm not nuts.I don't have some weird trauma from earth.I must just of had a virus or something."  
  
"We took some medical scans of you when your friends brought you here. You're immunity levels to most diseases was dangerously low. and as a result you have an iron deficiency along with some other minor ailments. I spoke to your ship's Doctor.A Ms.Trance and she said this was normal for you. You're heart rate and anxiety levels were high but we attributed them to your current mind set."  
  
Harper tried to peer out the small window in to the hall but he was a bit to short. "Where does this hall go?"  
  
Dr. Lemieux sighed. "If you cooperate today I promise to take you out tomorrow."  
  
Harper gave up, "Alright fine." He jumped with a flop on the bed. Ask me your shrink questions?"  
  
"Shrink?"  
  
"Human terms for your job."  
  
"Ahhh. So back to earth.Did the Magog take your shoes?"  
  
Harper looked at him. "Really Doc, are you sure that I'm the crazy one here? Why the hell would a Magog want my shoes?"  
  
++++++++++++++++++++ TBC 


	4. Chapter 4

Lol Drakcir I think the word you're looking for is relapse.and you'll just have to wait and see  
  
Wow your comments are really nice. I can't thank you enough.  
  
Join the Harperchondriacs.:  
  
588b73c5e5  
  
Now on with our story  
  
++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Beka lay in a narrow conduit on the Andromeda. She was using on of Harper's tools to adjust one of Andromeda's scanners.  
  
Suddenly sparks flew out as the connections frayed. "Damnit!!" Beka swore pounding her fist on the wall beside the panel.  
  
Holo-rommie appeared before her, "Ouch. Didn't you know it's not nice to beat an innocent ship?"  
  
She was trying to make a joke and Beka knew it but she wasn't in the mood and just gave Rommie a dirty look.  
  
"Beka we're docked. Dylan has a group of local engineers working on me. Why don't you just take a break? I'm sure if you just rested a bit Dylan would let you go down to see Harper again."  
  
Beka dropped the tool she was holding. Slowly she picked it up and began to study it. "What do you think Harper would say about all these strange engineers working on you Rommie?"  
  
"He probably would hate it. Right now though we are out of options."  
  
Beka sat in silence for a moment. "I was going to give you a big speech about how I needed to stay here. Stay here, and make sure the repairs are going just the way Harper would like them.but it would be a lie."  
  
Rommie looked at her with empathy. "Beka?"  
  
"Truth is I'm not sure I can face going down there again."  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
The next morning Dr. Lemieux arrived to take Harper out to the commons. The Commons was a courtyard used by both the staff and other patients.  
  
He looked through the small room's window and was surprised but what he saw. He knocked on the door lightly and walked in with his hands on his hips.  
  
"Hey Doc!" Harper greeted him cheerfully.  
  
"I hope you can put it back together again!?"  
  
"Doc.really.I'm engineer! This is nothing. Goes to show you a bored, good looking genius should never be left alone." He laughed lightly.  
  
Harper had managed to take most in the furniture in his room apart. Using the bed frame, parts of the desk, even the curtains to create this umm. The doctor scratched his head. "Umm, so what is it?"  
  
For a moment even Harper looked puzzled. Then a grin flashed across his face. "Modern Art!"  
  
The doctor chuckled. "Okay then. Sooo, you ready for a field trip?"  
  
"I've never been more ready."  
  
"One thing first." The doctor took a step forward.  
  
Instinctively Harper took a step back.  
  
The doctor studied him for a moment then showed him what he had in his hand. It was a simple wristband. "It's a tracking device. It's mandatory that all patients where them when they are not in their rooms. It also has your name and your medical history on it."  
  
The doctor took another step forward. Harper took another step back. "Look Doc. I'm not going to run away."  
  
"I'm sorry Harper but it's mandatory no exceptions. It's just a bracelet."  
  
Harper looked at in the small device hanging from the doctor's hand like it was going to bite him.  
  
The doctor watched him closely. "Tell me what you're thinking?" He whispered.  
  
Suddenly Harper reached forward and grabbed it from his hand. He slapped it across his wrist and it beeped as it locked in place. "Can we go now?" the smile was gone from his face.  
  
The doctor looked at him a moment longer and gave a small nod. "Follow me."  
  
He led Harper through the hallways and out in to a massive courtyard. Harper sighed happily when the light wind blew through his hair. "All I need is my surf board and a beach...and well an ocean."  
  
"You don't spend much time on planets do you?"  
  
"Nah, we're mostly spacers." Harper started to wander a little. "There are a lot more people here then I would have thought."  
  
"A lot of people need help. We help them."  
  
A tall chubby man walked over to Harper. Harper squinted at him for a moment then his eyes grew large.  
  
"Do you like boxing?" the strange man asked.  
  
"No!" Harper nearly shouted. "I hate boxing! Lets go Doc." Harper abruptly turned the other way and walked quickly towards a shady area.  
  
"What was that about?"  
  
"Just trust me. Don't ever tell him you like boxing."  
  
Harper sat on a low bench that was built around the girth of a tree. He rubbed his hand along the tree's bark affectionately.  
  
"Trance has a tree like this on the Andromeda. on earth most of the trees were dead."  
  
The Doctor sat down beside him.  
  
Harper laughed lightly at himself. "I think I'm home sick."  
  
"What do you miss most?" The boy seemed sober yet the doctor wondered if he would say something flippant. Whenever they got to close to the things he hid the young man got twitchy. He talked more but never about things that needed to be said. Now the boy looked uncertain . as if even sharing this little bit about him self was a difficult thing.  
  
Harper shrugged his shoulders. "Beer, my bed."  
  
"Harper really!" Dr. Lemieux retorted disgustingly.  
  
They sat in silence a moment longer. The doctor could feel the tension building in the boy.  
  
When he spoke next it was nearly a whisper. "I miss Beka, and Rommie. Trance and her stupid plants. I miss waking up and knowing where I am and what I'm supposed to do. Hell, I even miss Tyr and Dylan. I miss waking up and knowing everything is as it should be."  
  
"You and Beka seem to have a special relationship."  
  
Harper started to play with leaf that had fallen from the tree.  
  
Harper shrugged. "She saved me from earth. I owe her everything. My life is hers."  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Beka and Dylan sat in his office and played 'Go.'  
  
Rommie and Trance had gone planet side to visit Harper. Meanwhile, Tyr was left in charge of supervising the repair team.  
  
Dylan moved the smooth black pawn to a new square and Beka studied the board. "Rommie tells me you don't want to go down a visit Harper."  
  
"Rommie has a big mouth."  
  
A voice from the walls echoed out. "I do not!"  
  
"Rommie please!" Chastised Dylan.  
  
"Big ears too."  
  
The walls gasped with horror.  
  
Dylan attempted his original question again while Beka moved her game piece.  
  
"Beka really what's the problem. I did want you to rest. It's been hard on all of us. But, I never wanted you to give up on him completely. Rommie has been down there. She says things are much better now."  
  
"You don't understand. " She sighed drawing her self away from the game. "A long time ago I made a promise to him. I promised him I would never leave him." She laughed quietly. "At first it was a nothing promise. My engineer was a nervous wreck those first few weeks off of earth. He was afraid I would just dump him when I didn't need him anymore. But, after a while it began to mean something more."  
  
"You've kept your promise to him."  
  
"No I haven't and that's the problem. I haven't been there for him when he needed me.twice now. How could I ever face him again? She was near tears. "This is all my fault."  
  
Dylan leaned forward. "I think Harper's.'illness' is no ones fault. I think it was just a matter of time. You couldn't possibly have done anything. And, besides the fact that he is the youngest member of our crew he's not a child. He's lived through more then most of us."  
  
"Dylan you don't understand. I know what triggered all of this. He told me just before he collapsed. And, I've done nothing. Now he's sick." Two tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'm sorry Dylan. I can't face him and you can't make me go down there. Give me a few days. I'll pack. Tell him Uncle Sid needed me.or something. What's one more lie?"  
  
Beka got up to leave. Dylan stood and grabbed her wrist. "Beka, I've seen you face down the biggest goons in the universe. I know you can get through this. Don't go. Just talk to me. Tell me what happened!"  
  
"Everyone has a breaking point.Harper had his.this is mine."  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Harper stood in his small room. There was a small window with bars on it. It was to high up for him to see the ground but he could see the sky just fine. He decided to pull his mattress over. Which was much easier now that the pieces of what was once the bed frame were scattered across the room. He lay down on the mattress and gazed out to the stars. Brendan, Declan, Siobahn, and him used to climb the hill near their shelter on earth. They would lie out there forever looking up at the stars. They were hard to see. The pollution and atmosphere had been really bad. But you could always see a few sparkling through.  
  
That was before the Magog had come.  
  
His mind leapt away from those memories. Why couldn't he remember stuff? He could name every wire, every pathway on the Andromeda. Yet, part of his childhood and even more disturbingly all of last week was just gone. He had the feeling if he could just go home to Andromeda.talk to Beka...then everything would be okay.  
  
He looked up at the stars. He could see some of the lights moving. Ships leaving and arriving. "Beka where are you?" he whispered to the dark. "I need you."  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
TBC 


	5. Chapter 5

Well here's the next part. it's short but I should update with a longer piece tomorrow.or later today depending on your time zone. ;-)  
  
I don't usually do long drawn out thank you's but you guys have been so good to me.  
  
Ehm ehm  
  
Bolo thanks for sticking with me seeing your comments on my stories is always a pleasure.  
  
Claire. I love your stories.It's a privilege to have you read mine  
  
Gordon AI.awww you're making me blush  
  
Drakcir. your comments always make me laugh (in a good way) thanks for reading  
  
Lady Lenna thanks for sticking with me.  
  
Thanks to the Harperchondriacs as always you guys inspire me.  
  
And everyone else a big hug and thank you  
  
.now on with our story.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
He was home. Not the Maru, not the Andromeda. his first home. Earth. He looked at his hands. He was small, but some day he would grow big. His Da said so. His Da was always right. He could hear them laughing. He smiled and ran up the dirt path. His twin cousins, Siobahn and Declan, were two years older then he was so they could run faster.  
  
"Wait! He shouted. "I'm coming."  
  
"Hurry Shay." The voices laughed.  
  
He ran and he ran but he felt as slow as a snail.  
  
"Hurry Shay!" the voices now scream with horror in his head.  
  
"No, please." He sobbed. "I'll run faster." But he was already way too late. Years too late.  
  
He fell to his knees. Small stones dug in to his legs through his pants. He hide his face in his soiled hands. Then another voice. Trance.  
  
"Harper we need to stick together. This way!"  
  
Slowly he got to his feet. Something was wrong. He couldn't see Trance. He heard a noise. Like a child lured by a shiny new toy he followed it. The noise came again as a small groan.  
  
"Trance?" he whispered. He wandered around the far side of a run down building. He slipped through a fence in to what once might have been a family's small garden space.  
  
He knew what came next. HE KNEW WHAT CAME NEXT!  
  
"No, please." He sobbed once again. But who was he asking? He saw the small hand first, then the blood. Tiny blonde curls lead to enormous empty blue eyes.  
  
"I want my Mommy."  
  
He leapt back with shock. Dear Divine she was alive! He recovered as soon as he could. "Hey Kiddo, my name is Harper."  
  
"No! I want Mommy." A big tear dripped down her face.  
  
It was then he saw it.underneath her pink beaded unicorn shirt. Her bloated stomach moved on it's own. He took three steps away and was quietly sick.  
  
The little girl groaned and whimpered in pain. "Come back.come back, please. I'm scared."  
  
Harper returned to her side. She could be no more then four. She reached out and took his hand. "Sing me a song? Mommy always sang."  
  
"I - I don't know any."  
  
"I'll start!" she whispered the words to a child's song. He had never heard it before. He found that he couldn't look away from the blood smeared across her chin.  
  
Her stomach moved again. It wouldn't be long.  
  
The girl gasped for air. "You're turn.start."  
  
Harper tried to remember the words. "You are my sunshine.my only sunshine.You make me happy when skies are grey."  
  
The tiny, perfect little girl let out a final scream of agony. It was over.  
  
The infant Magog scrambled through the grass. He pulled his gauss gun and fired and fired. "No, please!" He sobbed. Then he ran.  
  
"Harper wake up you're having a bad dream. Wake up." It was Dr. Lemieux. He was wearing a robe and was kneeling by his bed. It was weird you how you notice stuff like that when you're not fully awake yet. "Are you awake?"  
  
Harper looked up at him finally becoming aware of the words. A coldness seemed down him from the inside turning his belly cold. "I'm fine. I'm good. Really." He said it a little to fast for it to be believable.  
  
"Harper. do you want to talk about it. Your dreams."  
  
"I said no! Now get out!"  
  
The doctor studied him for a moment more before standing up slowly. "We if you change your mind just call. If not see you in the morning."  
  
They both stood staring at each other. Finally, with a sigh, Dr. Lemieux turned and left.  
  
Harper waited to make sure he was gone before turning his eyes once more to the night sky.  
  
The stars shined up above. Innocent.  
  
Harper started to hum. "You are my sunshine.my only sunshine.."  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
tbc 


	6. Chapter 6

Lol Luna Fox.you know I started writing a prequel to 'dinner and a show' a few times. In fact it was when I was trying to write it that I ended up writing 'absent without leave'.you never know it could happen yet.I think you're the only one that remembers that story. Lol  
  
Thanks for all your comments guys really you've all been super to me.really. You've given me some of the nicest comments I've ever gotten.  
  
Psst Drakcir.this is the part you've been waiting for.  
  
+++++++++++++  
  
Harper hadn't slept all night. This is what he wanted more then anything but know when he was faced with it.well he was nervous. He sat on the bed and was glancing at the door every few minutes long before sunrise.  
  
Finally the Doctor appeared. "Are you ready?"  
  
Harper hopped up trying to look confident. "Anytime you are. "  
  
The two exited the building and started walking towards the shipyards. "Did you tell them I was coming?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"What did they say?"  
  
"They were overjoyed that you were feeling better and that you were coming home."  
  
"Did you see Beka?"  
  
"No, I talked to you're avatar and Captain Hunt." The doctor smiled. "The golden lady.Trance, seemed especially happy."  
  
Harper snickered. "Yeah she's a bit exuberant. You'll like her." "Tell me about everyone."  
  
"What do you want to know?"  
  
"What ever you want to tell me."  
  
Harper swore under his breath about clauses. "Well. Trance then first."  
  
They boarded the small medical shuttle that would take them to Andromeda and found their seats."  
  
"What about Trance?" Urged Doctor Dr. Lemieux.  
  
"Trance Gemini.um.She was the last to join the old Maru crew, Beka's ship. She used to be purple. Now she's not. Ahhhh, come on Doc this is hard I don't know what to say."  
  
"Just say what's in your mind."  
  
"She was my best friend."  
  
"Was?"  
  
"Well, like her colour she's changed a lot. I still care for her." He gave small shrug. "I'm just not sure we're best friends anymore.. We don't have a lot in common."  
  
"Who is else?"  
  
"Well Rommie and Andromeda of course."  
  
"Aren't they the same thing?"  
  
"No. Rommie's connected but she is very much her own person. She's strong, gorgeous and I made her."  
  
"Wow. That is something, you're not kidding when you say you're a genius."  
  
Harper gave a small modest smile.  
  
"What about Captain Hunt? I've heard a lot about him in the news broadcasts." queried Dr. Lemieux.  
  
"Umm. Dylan's pretty cool. It was super cool of him to let us stay after we tried to hijack the Andromeda. He's got some pretty wild ideas yet he always seems to make them work. Tyr and Him don't always get along. Tyr's the Neitzschean."  
  
"He came to see you while you were sick."  
  
Harper frowned. "Really? I don't remember. I wonder why?"  
  
"Everyone seemed concerned about you especially Beka and him. Speaking of which. What's Beka like?"  
  
Harper paused "Beka.she's family."  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
The Doctor watched Harper fidget nervously as they pulled in to the loading dock of the Andromeda. He had a lot of nervous energy naturally but it had seemed to reach a peak. He had to control him self just to keep from reaching over and grabbing Harper's drumming fingers and forcing them to stay still.  
  
The small shuttle pod settled. The air lock door unsealed. There was a squeal and a golden blur. Seconds later Trance and Harper were on the floor. Harper looked like he was suffocating from the strength of the embrace. Finally getting some air he let out a laugh breaking the hug. "Trance it's good to see you to."  
  
"I'm so glad you're okay!" she gushed. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"I'm fine we just need to convince him." Harper pointed over his shoulder with his thumb indicating the doctor.  
  
Trance looked towards the Doctor seeming trying to regain some dignity. "Welcome Dr. Lemieux."  
  
"Thank You Ms. Gemini."  
  
"Call me Trance." She then began pulling on Harper's arm. "Come on everyone's waiting!"  
  
A small group of people waited just out side on the main Tarmac. "Mr. Harper!" shouted a jovial man.clearly Captain hunt. He clasped Harper's shoulder and shook his hand heartily. "Glad to have you back. Welcome to the Andromeda Dr. Lemieux."  
  
"Thank You Captain."  
  
Next to him stood a petite dark haired woman, Rommie. She pulled Harper in to a friendly hug. If Harper ever wanted more he would never get it. Dr. Lemieux watched Harper from the corner of his eye as he conversed with the Captain.  
  
"I have had everything set up as you asked doctor. I have even set up an extra bunk in the Harper's quarters." Captain Hunt lowered his voice. "He really does seem better."  
  
"I'm afraid that what ever triggered his traumatic episode is still sitting just beneath the surface. He's only suppressed what was bothering him. He hasn't dealt with it. He's at a high risk for a relapse. That's why we came. I was hoping being back here might help him relax. Help him let his walls down a bit."  
  
"Harper is irreplaceable to us. Anything you need just let me know. We'll do what ever it takes."  
  
Dr. Lemieux once more turned his attention on Harper. He was talking to the over sized Neitzschean.  
  
"I always told them you were insane. I'm glad some one finally believed me."  
  
"I missed you to Tyr."  
  
Just then another figure appeared in the doorway. A blonde, wiry woman who could be no one other then Beka Valentine.  
  
Harper's entire consciousness suddenly focused on her. For the first time that day he stood still. "Beka." he started his voice sounded overjoyed yet relived at the same time.  
  
Beka turned white. They stared at each other for a moment then Beka turned abruptly and walked away from them.  
  
Harper chased after her. The doctor followed them both.  
  
"Beka come back!"  
  
Beka turned towards him tears streaming from her eyes. "I think it would be best if you just stayed away from me."  
  
Harper was obviously stunned. "What.what did I do?"  
  
"Just leave me alone!" she dashed down the corridor away from them.  
  
Harper watched her go. He stood absolutely still and quiet. Dr. Lemieux couldn't even hear him breathing.  
  
"Harper? Are you okay?"  
  
Harper slid to the floor. He wrapped his arms around his legs and began rocking back and forth. "No, please. Don't go.I'm sorry. No, please. Don't go.I'm sorry." He whispered.  
  
The doctor grabbed his shoulders. "No, Harper don't! Stay with me. Look at me!" But it was like he wasn't there at all.  
  
TBC 


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for the awesome comments you guys.sorry if there are typos I haven't had time to proof read. I may come back later and fix them  
  
+++++++++++++++++++  
  
With the help of Trance and Rommie, Dr. Lemieux had managed to get Harper to his quarters. The room said a lot about the man. it was chaotic.  
  
"Oooo, it looks nice Rommie did you clean?"  
  
"Thanks Trance. I figured it was the only time I could. with him being away and all."  
  
The Doctor raised his eyebrow. "This is clean?  
  
"For Harper, yes." Confirmed Rommie  
  
The doctor let out a low whistle. It explained a lot about why he had torn his room a part on the planet. He wanted to feel more at home. Home seemed to be a recurring theme with him. Maybe being here really would help despite the sudden relapse.  
  
The doctor steered Harper towards the bed and sat him down.  
  
Both the women suddenly looked sad. Harper was home but the person they loved was still missing.  
  
"Is.is there anything we can do for him?" whispered the android.  
  
"We really need to find out what is going on between him and Captain Valentine."  
  
Trance walked over to Harper and tried to get him to lie down but he flinched at her touch. "That may be harder then you think. Harper can talk your ear off but if it's about something important Beka and him are incredibly tight lipped."  
  
"And stubborn." Added Rommie.  
  
"Harper called her family."  
  
Trance nodded. "They were together before I joined the Maru. From the various stories I have heard. Beka rescued Harper from earth. Neither of them had much family to speak of." Trance shrugged. "They just sort of adopted each other. I've never scene a stronger friendship. They've been through everything together. Harper trusts her more then life it's self."  
  
"Trust." The doctor thought allowed. Harper didn't trust anyone but the people on this ship. If they think he trust's Captain Valentine the most. she must not be telling them something. But why? If they meant so much to each other why was she pushing him away? Was she keeping secrets? "Do you think she would be available to speak to me?"  
  
Rommie was silent for a nanosecond as she scanned her database. "She's in the gym. It would probably best if we went with out her expecting us. I'll show you the way."   
  
+++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Dr. Lemieux entered the room slowly. Beka Valentine, who was pounding on a heavy bag didn't even look up. Rommie said she would wait out side. apparently in case his life became endangered.  
  
"Ehm ehm. Captain Valentine?"  
  
She stopped and wiped the sweat from her brow with the backside of her arm. "Who are you again?"  
  
"Dr. Broder Lemieux. I'm working with your engineer Harper."  
  
"Ahh." She replied as if it meant nothing to her and she went back to hitting the black bag.  
  
Dr. Lemieux flinched at the sound of her pounding on the sand bad but decided to venture forth anyway. "Can I ask you a few questions?"  
  
"You can but I may not answer them." She huffed in between punches.  
  
The doctor had to shout to make him self heard over the thumping of the bag. "Harper had a severe reaction to seeing you today. Do you know why that may be?"  
  
Beka stopped suddenly and stepped towards him again. "Who are you again?" she repeated her question this time there was menace in her voice.  
  
The doctor took a step backwards. "I'm.I'm"  
  
Beka gave him a little shove. "Really, I don't care who the hell you are. What goes on between Harper and me is private got that! Who the hell do you think you are coming in here and trying to analyze me!"  
  
The Doctor had had about enough. "Listen here lady. I'm just doing my job. I thought you cared about him and." He saw it coming.heck he has expected it to come. Beka's right hook caught him in the corner of the eye. And like any good heavy weight lackey fighting the Champ he went down for the count.  
  
++++++++++++++++++  
  
Dylan paced the inside of his office as Beka Valentine sat in a nearby chair. Dylan was furious. He couldn't remember a time where he had simply been this angry. "Less then Two hours! Beka!! Less then TWO HOURS!"  
  
"I.." she tried but he was still ranting and he wasn't ready to hear her excuses yet,  
  
"We finally get him back.Our Harper.your Harper! And, in less then two hours you manage to send him in to relapse and knock his doctor unconscious! What do you have to say for your self?"  
  
"I." she tried again. Apparently Dylan still wasn't ready to listen.  
  
"I mean I thought you two were like brother and sister!" He felt like pounding on something him self. What is it with first officers that betrayed people!  
  
Dylan took a deep breath. Damn he missed Rev. With that thought alone he let go of his anger and calmed himself.  
  
He sat in a chair opposite of Beka. He his face in his hands for a moment and took another deep, calming breath. "Beka what's going on?"  
  
Beka who had up until that point met his eyes. Suddenly looked away. Her eyes were glassy with tears. "You're right. I shouldn't have hit him. I shouldn't have done a lot of things."  
  
"I have a feeling there has been a lot you haven't been telling us."  
  
She sat quietly for a moment lost in thought. She swiped at renegade tear. In my life I really haven't had much to be proud of. My family certainly wasn't much to talk about. The only two things I really ever had where the Maru and my integrity. I've never made promises lightly.you know that."  
  
Dylan nodded. She always kept her word.  
  
"Harper. when Bobby and I picked him up off of earth there really wasn't much to him. He was skin and bone and a bundle of nerves." Beka smiled slightly at the memory. "After we kicked Bobby off. He didn't improve much. Everything seemed to set him off. He would jump at every little noise. Finally, I made him two promises.Promise number one. I told him he could talk to me. When he could trust no one else he could talk to me and I would never tell anyone his secrets. Number two. I would always be there for him, for what ever he needed, I would never leave him."  
  
"He probably really needed to hear that. He needed a friend Beka. You've been the best friend he could ever have." Dylan whispered softly.  
  
"I- I never thought the promises would conflict though."  
  
Dylan was confused.  
  
"I couldn't tell his secret.now he's sick and I can't help him because I promised. He's sick and I've been forced too abandoned him. If I tell his secrets then he might get better but I'll have had broken both my promises to him.he'll never forgive me."  
  
"What could be so awful that you couldn't tell us?"  
  
She looked away. Tear rolling freely down her cheeks now. "I promised not to tell.. But, I guess it doesn't matter now . I've already betrayed him. "  
  
Dylan took her hand.  
  
"He was down on the planet with the rest of us.Trance and him were looking for survivors.He got lost but Trance found him. They made it back to the ship. Harper looked sick and he reminded me of my promise never to tell. Harper said he came across a little girl. He. he said he killed her just like he had killed his cousins."  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
TBC 


	8. Chapter 8

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Harper sat huddled on his small bed. Humming.  
  
Having visited Trance in medical and being fully recovered Dr. Lemieux now sat on a low chair across from the troubled engineer.  
  
"Andromeda?" called the doctor.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Do you recognize the song he's humming?"  
  
"Ancient earth folk tune. 'You are my sunshine'."  
  
"Could you check his records and tell me the last time he sang this song?"  
  
"Scanning. over a year ago when he and Tyr returned from the Magog world ship. Harper had been injured and infected by Magog eggs. He was delirious at the time. He never sings the words though."  
  
"Thank You Andromeda." The Doctor scratched is chin in thought. It was the same old story...the Magog. "Harper Talk to me. remember our clause? You promised."  
  
Harper rocked back and forth on his bunk humming but then the doctor heard something He quickly sat up straight in his chair. It was so faint he wasn't sure. "What? Harper did you say something."  
  
Harper never looked up. "Promises.there have been a lot of promises."  
  
"You made a promise or some one has made one to you? What promises?"  
  
"Mmmm, hmmm." Harper continued to hum as if he had never heard.  
  
"Harper I know you can hear me I know you are ignoring me. Is it so awful to talk to me? I promise not to tell anyone if you don't want me to."  
  
Harper looked up suddenly. Fear in his eyes "You can't tell! She promised not to tell. You can't know!" He shrieked and leapt to his feet.  
  
Dr. Lemieux grabbed him by his shoulders. "It's okay Harper no one knows."  
  
"I. I didn't want to, b-but I had to! Sss-she was still alive. It's not like they say. I. I didn't want to, b-but I had to!!" Harper was starting to stutter as he his body shook with shock. The memories he had been suppressing were asserting them selves and burst forward like a title wave.  
  
Dr. Lemieux wanted Harper to remember but he didn't want him to loose him self to them. He didn't the person Harper had become to be swept aside by the past. He would have to be careful. Keep him as calm as possible.  
  
"I. I didn't want to, b-but I had to! She said she wouldn't tell. She promised. I promised." Harper started to wheeze.  
  
"Andromeda tell Trance to stand by we may have a medical emergency. Harper breath!" He forced Harper to lie down. "Come on deep breath's"  
  
Harper's eyes were open wide and glassy as he gasped for breath. "I..I." Harper tried to speak but he couldn't. His lungs heaved for air but received no blessed relief.  
  
Dr. Lemieux could see Harper was turning blue. It was the final straw. "Andromeda Medical emergency!"  
  
The diminutive engineer's eye's closed. The doctor watched helplessly. The risk of his secrets being exposed was enough to cause him to have a panic attack.  
  
Trance rushed in and the doctor leapt out of the way.  
  
In the end there really would be only one person who could help Harper and Harper had known who it was all along. The keeper of Harper's secret's. Captain Beka Valentine.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Beka crept through the hallways like a ghost. She could hear the Doctor in Dylan's quarters discussing something. She stepped quickly and silently by the door.  
  
She followed the hallway down to the most port side of the ship. The medical bay doors were already opened. Trance stood on the very far side of the room she seemed to be doing some sort of research on one of Andromeda's monitor's. Beka gazed in to the quiet room.  
  
Harper lay on a medical bay not ten feet from where she stood. The only noise in the room was some monitor attached to Harper's wrist. Every ten seconds or so it would give a soft beep. She studied him for a moment. He looked a lot like the old Harper.when they first met. Worry lines creased his for head. He looked thinner to.  
  
Beka stepped in to the room and froze as Trance shifted in her chair. Beka crept forward again until she stood by Harper's side.  
  
"I couldn't have done more thing's wrong." She let her hand run lightly through his messy hair. "I know you'll hate me for ever. and I don't blame you. I've made so many mistakes. I'm so pathetic I haven't even been able to deal with being responsible for them. This may be the last time we have to speak.and I don't blame you for hating me.but. I wanted you to know.I'm sorry. For everything. And if you hate me forever. I'll understand." She paused to look up at where Trance had been sitting but the chair was empty now. She looked back down at Harper. He didn't move. Only the rise and fall of his chest indicated he was real and alive. "I've been selfish. I couldn't tell any one your secrets because it meant breaking my promise. It meant breaking my promise and losing you. But what I should have realized is that. You are more important then my promise. My Father. my Mother.hell in Rafe.they always made promises and never kept them. I hated them for it. So, even if you hate me forever as long as you lived and you were capable of hating me it would be okay. So. so I'm going to leave. Okay? You're okay here. Then you won't have to worry I'll have no one to tell your secrets to. And, even though I broke your trust. I wanted to tell you it's okay to trust people. Trust Dylan and Rommie.Trust Trance and Tyr. It's important that you get better." A single tear rolled down her cheek. She was sick of crying. She lay her hand on his cheek one last time. "Live well Seamus Harper.goodbye."  
  
He moved slowly so slowly that she hadn't even noticed. But suddenly his hand gripped hers. "You promised." he whispered as he fell back in to unconsciousness.  
  
Beka blinked with shock. He was only unconscious but he held her hand in a death grip. He wasn't letting go.  
  
She stood there for a moment, emotions of all sorts flooded over her.  
  
Maybe...just maybe if he wasn't willing to let go.maybe she wasn't either.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
TBC 


	9. Chapter 9

sheeesh i'm suddenly nervous i hope you guys don't think this part sucks.  
  
this part is dedicated to Nurrek because this story is all her fault. Thanks Nurrek  
  
thanks for all your wonderful comments guys I meant it you guys rock!!  
  
(((Group Hug)))  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Dr. Lemieux and Dylan entered medical both were surprise but happy to see the two sleeping friends. Beka had sat on the floor by Harper's bed. With Arm in the air still being held on to by Harper both had fallen asleep.  
  
Dr. Lemieux Jumped as Trance appeared silently at their side as pulled them out in to the corridor.  
  
"Their sleeping." She whispered the obvious.  
  
"Are they talking?" Questioned Dylan.  
  
"Not really Harper is still unconscious I gave him some thing to help him relax. It should wear off soon. Both of them were exhausted."  
  
"Well something happened." Dr. Lemieux gazed curiously through the door at the two sleeping pair. "I mean, he had such horrible nightmares. It could be the drugs but I doubt it. He looks so peaceful. Beka really has been the magic key to opening Harper's box of secrets."  
  
Dylan suddenly looked uncomfortable he grabbed the doctor's arm and directed him down the hall. "Let's give them some time."  
  
+++++++++++++  
  
Harper woke slowly. His chest hurt. His throat hurt. He let out a small groan. Slowly he focused his eyes. He was in medical again. Something's never changed. His arm felt sore. He looked down his arm towards his hand. Some one was holding his hand. He pulled him self towards the edge of the bed and gazed over. It was Beka. A sudden joyous smile crossed his face but it disappeared a moment later. She told him she didn't want to see him anymore. He had a vague memory of her saying good bye. The only reason he could deduce that she would want to leave was that she told...she told his secret.  
  
He let go of her hand.  
  
"You promised." He whispered through his sore throat. A tear dripped down his face and over his nose. He rolled over turning his back to her.  
  
She must have woken the moment her limp arm hit the floor. Seconds after he rolled over she was by his side. "Harper?"  
  
"Go away!" he rasped "That's what you want to do anyway isn't it!"  
  
He could hear Beka stifle her gasp with her hand.  
  
He had hurt her. He was afraid and he was angry and he told himself he didn't care. She had treated him badly and he needed someone to yell at. He sat up and faced her. "You told!"  
  
"I had to."  
  
"You promised! You told me that you always kept your promises! I trusted you!" His fury was building.  
  
Dr. Lemieux entered silently behind Beka.  
  
"I know but you are more important to me then my promise.I."  
  
Harper suddenly noticed Dr. Lemieux. "You get the hell out of here! This is between me and Beka."  
  
"I think you're angry and you're taking your anger out on the closest person. Who are you really mad at?"  
  
Harper jumped to his feet. "Get out the both of you!"  
  
Beka stood silent nervous but neither her nor the doctor moved any closer to the door.  
  
"Remember your promise to me Harper?" Continued the Doctor. "Tell me why you're so mad and we'll leave."  
  
Harper looked around angrily maybe he could find something to throw at them. Damn Trance for being so neat! They stood between him and the door he couldn't make a break for it. Suddenly he was feeling very claustrophobic.  
  
Dr. Lemieux took a step forward. He tried to back away. Really, he did. But, the bed was in the way and it was pushed up against the wall. Once again his breath quickened. The past was rushing in to the future.  
  
The doctor took another step forward. "Everyone here cares for you. We've made mistakes and ask you to forgive us. We did what we did because we thought it would help you could get better."  
  
"I'm fine. I'm good." Harper whispered the bar of the bed digging in to his back.  
  
"Harper you're not fine." Beka finally found her voice and seemed to be regaining her strength of conviction. "You saw that girl give birth to the Magog and you killed her just like you killed your cousins. Then you killed all the baby Magogs."  
  
Harper stared at her in utter shock . she told. There it was his deep darkest secrets hung out for everyone to see.  
  
His knees gave way and he sunk to the floor. He wished he could tesseract so he could keep going right through the floor.  
  
The doctor and Beka were right there beside him in an instant. His memories flooded over his brain. He tried to push them away. "That didn't happen. none of that happened."  
  
Beka grabbed his shoulders. "Harper you listen to me right now!" she was using her Captain voice.  
  
He looked up and met her eyes. "No.No, please." He sobbed once again.  
  
Dr. Lemieux whispered softly. Harper tried to ignore him.  
  
Beka shook him. Hard. "Seamus Zelazny Harper! You stay with us that's an order!"  
  
He looked at her. "Where was I going?" It was all so confusing.  
  
"Let it out." Whispered the doctor. "The truth is out. Don't hide from it. Were here."  
  
"And were not leaving. ever" whispered Beka.  
  
"No, please. the little Magog they could have grown up to be like Rev. My cousins. the little girl. I kill children. BEKA, I KILLED BABIES!"  
  
Beka grabbed him pulling him in to a hug. "No. No, you don't kill babies. You helped people.those in pain."  
  
He sobbed loudly on her shoulder. "No! Please.I don't want to do that any more. Not ever again! You promised you wouldn't leave me.you weren't there!"  
  
This time tears sprung to Beka's eyes. She tried to move back but Dr. Lemieux grabbed her arm holding her in place.  
  
"Leave if you're going to leave!" screamed Harper.  
  
Beka's face grew firm again. She looked mad. "Harper...you're the only real family I have left. I can't be with you one hundred percent of the time. I think you know this. But I will never leave you behind when you need me. I ran away from you in the hospital. I - I panicked. I had never seen you like that before and it scared me. Your right I shouldn't have run away then .I'll do my best to never let that happen again."  
  
Harper looked away from her unable to meet her eyes.  
  
But Beka grabbed his face and forced him to look at her. "Now you pay attention to me! I'm sorry I broke my promises but in the end it doesn't matter. I will always do everything I can to keep my promises to you. But, never.and I mean never again will I let anything I promise stand in the way of your welfare! Do you understand me?"  
  
Harper gave a small nod. It was the best he could do with her gripping his face like that. He felt like he was making a fish face. None of this was very dignified. Once again he want to slink off and hide.  
  
Beka let go of his face.  
  
He relaxed a little the anger leaving him. It was quickly replaced by helplessness. He hugged his knees. "What am I going to do? If everybody knows what I've done.I don't want anyone to know the kind of person I am.  
  
Dr. Lemieux looked at him. "You are a very bright young man who has lived through a lot of horrible things. That is nothing to be ashamed of. You have to accept that these things happened. You did what you had to do. What you thought you had to. If anything I admire you for that. It takes a lot of strength for you to have done what you had to do. Those dead children could have very easily be you."  
  
"I wish they had been me."  
  
"I don't. Your friends don't. You heard Beka say she was willing to do what ever it takes to make sure you were okay. It's true your life affects those around you. I only see positives here. You've made your friends laugh and cry and worry. Dylan even told me you were one of the primary reasons the Maru was able to pull him out of that black hole. One life cannot be chosen over another. You lived Harper while other's died. Maybe that was simply just the way it was meant to be. Any of those people you say you killed may have died moments later or years later. But they would have died. You do not control life and death. You were a catalyst nothing more. Do you understand that?"  
  
Harper gave a wry smile. "Understand it yes.believing it a whole other issue. I'm sorry I have been such a pain in the ass to my friends." He looked at his feet and started playing with the laces on his boots. "Sometimes it all becomes a bit much. I go through a week with out thinking about what happened on earth. Then I feel bad. I'm think maybe the people I left behind are mad at me because I don't think of them all the time. Then we went down to that planet and there.was that little girl."  
  
Beka took his hand from his laces and gripped it tightly.  
  
"That little girl. she just wanted to be with her mom. She just wanted to go home. Just like me. I just wanted to go home . I didn't want to stay and help her.it was to hard. But, I couldn't just leave her could I?"  
  
Some people would have." Injected the doctor.  
  
"I thought I would never have to deal with that stuff again. I didn't think about earth because I pushed it out of my mind. I felt safe here. It was almost like earth didn't happen.it wasn't real. Seeing the little girl on the planet made everything too real. I couldn't deal. It was like all the memories I had been denying rushed forth and everything that I had become just got swept aside. I got lost."  
  
"That's why it's important you talk to someone when you get these feelings." Replied the doctor.  
  
"I told Beka but it didn't seem to help."  
  
"Because you made her promise not to tell. It was like she was holding on to those memories for you so you wouldn't have to deal with them. But they didn't belong to her."  
  
Harper gave a small nod. "I burdened her with a lot of my crap. No wonder she ran away."  
  
"I let my self take it on Harper." She squeezed his hand encouragingly. "Your not alone in this."  
  
Harper gave a dry laugh. "Well what the hell do we do now?"  
  
"We remember. we accept.we look to the future .we live"  
  
"You make it sound easy."  
  
"Living is never easy. But, sometimes it's the right thing to do."  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Three days later Harper was sitting in one of the corridors in front of an open panel. Damn it felt good to be back at work. He looked up as he heard footsteps coming down the hall.  
  
"Hey, Doc." He smiled cheerfully as Dr. Lemieux rounded the corner.  
  
"Hey." He said casually smiling in return. "What are you fixing?"  
  
"A couple a relay's. Rommie is to smart for her own good sometimes. She's always blowing a fuse."  
  
The doctor laughed lightly. "Well I just came to say good-bye."  
  
Harper felt a little surprised. "Already?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Are you sure I'm going to be able to...I mean I don't want to."  
  
"Harper relax it's going to be okay. I gave Rommie my contact in call me any time. All you have to do is remember what I told you."  
  
"When ever I feel like the past is to much to bare talk to someone." Harper rolled his eyes.  
  
"Right.and I'm not kidding. And, don't make them promise to keep it a secret."  
  
Harper smiled.  
  
A comfortable silence hung in the air.  
  
"You know what I have decided?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I want to do something for all the little kids that have been affected by war. I looked around there are a lot of organizations...I don't know what I'm going to do yet but I'm going to help them somehow."  
  
"I think that's a great idea. You'll make a difference."  
  
Harper gave a nod.  
  
"Well keep in touch let me know how it goes." Dr. Lemieux turned to go.  
  
"Doc?"  
  
The Doctor turned back.  
  
"Thanks for everything."  
  
"You did all the work I just listened."  
  
"It meant a lot though."  
  
Dr. Lemieux smiled. Just then a Beka's voice screeched over the intercom.  
  
"Harper get your skinny mudfoot ass down to command! You for got to fix the right slipstream controller."  
  
"Beka I'm working on the relay's." he whined  
  
"Now!"  
  
He smiled and gave a small chuckle. "I have a feeling Doc if I try to forget things ever again Beka will be sure to remind me."  
  
+++++++++++++  
  
The end 


End file.
